The Ponderings of Lesbianca

I have started a new blog.....

2008-11-25T10:31:00.000-08:00

If you actually still read this blog, I have started a new one. Come see me at Ponderings of an ER nurse!

Let the countdown begin!

2008-04-13T09:08:00.000-07:00

MySpace Countdowns

Not the first time I have been called a freak

2007-12-09T08:11:00.000-08:00

Your Score: Freak- INFJ

46% Extraversion, 53% Intuition, 40% Thinking, 80% Judging

Well, well, well. How did someone like you end up with the least common personality type of them all? In a group of 100 Americans, only 0.5 others would be just like you. You really are one of a kind... In fact, I do believe that that's one of the definitions for the word "FREAK."

Freak's not such a bad word to describe you actually.

You are deep, complex, secretive and extremely difficult to understand. If that doesn't scream "Freak!" I don't know what does. No-one actually knows the REAL you, do they?

You probably have deep interests in creative expression as well as issues of spirituality and human development.

You've probably even been called a "psychic" before, because of your uncanny knack to understand and "read" people without quite knowing how you do it. Don't fret. You're not actually psychic. That would make you special and you'll never accomplish that.

You're also quite possible the most emotional of them all, so don't take this all too hard. Nevertheless you most definitely have the strangest personality type and that's not necessarily a good thing.

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If you want to learn more about your personality type in a slightly less negative way, check out this.

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The other personality types are as follows...

Loner - Introverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving
Pushover - Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging
Criminal - Introverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving
Borefest - Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging
Almost Perfect - Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
Loser - Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving
Crackpot - Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging
Clown - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving
Sap - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging
Commander - Extraverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving
Do Gooder - Extraverted Sensing Thinking Judging
Scumbag - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
Busybody - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging
Prick - Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving
Dictator - Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging

Link: The Brutally Honest Personality Test written by UltimateMaster on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

ENDA

2007-11-08T11:36:00.000-08:00

Videos worth watching. Please pass them on.

2007-09-13T12:49:00.001-07:00

Awesome video

2007-08-31T18:15:00.000-07:00

Nice video!

2007-08-20T22:08:00.000-07:00

Check out this video: LesboHomoPromo

Cool stuff!

2007-04-17T14:37:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, I am one of those people that would prefer to shop online than in a store. Where else can you get good deals in your p.j.'s?? So, I had to post about my friend's shop. I highly recommend you go there, esp. since she is giving a a $25.00 gift card for your next visit if you spend $100.00 in the store! With mother's day and father's day coming up, it is a good deal!

So get over there and buy something!

What do babies think?

2007-03-23T12:16:00.000-07:00

I know, it has been forever since I actually WROTE something. I have posted videos here and there, but there is nothing like an actual post pertaining to something, no matter what that something is. So, here it goes.

I am sure at some point in the over 2 years I have had this blog, I have mentioned the new addition to the family. Well, the little one will be 2 tomorrow and is still providing us hours of entertainment. Being that my oldest is 9, I am sorta relearning all the old baby things that had slipped my mind over the years, much like most things, including words for everyday objects, names, dates, places, where I live. You get the picture. They say that the more higher education you get, the more of the everyday stuff you loose. Who is they? Well, my source is a friend of mine in school, that heard it on some radio show, I think. But, she has had higher education too, so who knows. But it makes sense to me. What was I going to blog about again? Oh, yeah. The baby.

Well, the baby is learning all kinds of new words, mostly ones only those who live with her understand, but new words all the same. Such as moome for movie and so on.

Anyway, along the way, she, like most children, has learned Elmo. The name and who he is. Every time she sees him, she proceeds to say Elmo, Elmo, ELMO! Being the loving parents that we are, we are sure that she just loves Elmo. This starts a trend of buying her anything Elmo. She has an Elmo bed cover with matching pillow, a baby Elmo, a regular Elmo and the ever famous TMX Elmo. Even though TMX is not allowed to do what makes him TMX, because she gets mad at us and yells and holds his hand down. If you do not know what TMX does, please google it. (see google, throwing yet some more business your way, since you obviously need it)

So, what would you expect her birthday theme to be? Elmo, of course!!

L. and I made a mad dash to the store the other day to get all the Elmo themed party favors that we could find, which lead up to a nice conversation as we fill our basket.

L.: "You know, how do you know she likes Elmo?"
Me: "Because, she says his name every time she sees him, she reaches for Elmo stuff..you have seen her."
L: "Yeah, but what if she really hates Elmo and she does that cause that is the only thing she can say. I mean, wouldn't that suck, that just because you can say it, everyone thinks you like it?"
Me: "Well...uh"
L: " I can just see it now, she is going to get older and say by the way, I HATED Elmo, he gets on my nerves."
Me: laughing as I proceed to continue to fill the basket with Elmo stuff.

Which really made me think. What if she does hate Elmo? In her little baby head, she is looking at all the Elmo stuff saying "I hate that little red monster, he gets on my nerves. Stupid adults. I am a BABY, I can't say much. I say poopie too, but they do not buy me poopie stuff. When I get big enough, I am going to rip his little red head off and put it in their bed. See how they like it. I am going to turn on that damn talking Elmo and make them listen to his high pitched baby voice for hours. Just wait."

I am considering sleeping with one eye open from now on.

Take the time to watch

2007-03-19T18:01:00.000-07:00

Asking for help....

2006-06-19T22:53:00.000-07:00

I have a friend that has been searching for her birthparents. So far, she hasn't had any success.

Her story is unique. She was born on June 12, 1978 in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She was left in a phone booth.

If you can help in anyway, perhaps posting this information on your blog to pass it on to other readers or if you have information, it would be greatly appreciated! Her email address is amycox1978@yahoo.com.

Thanks!

My opinion on same-sex marriage

2006-06-11T22:48:00.000-07:00

First of all, I must say that I am glad that the amendment did not pass. No matter what side of the issue you are on, writing discrimination into our constitution is wrong.

With that being said, I feel the need to say my side of this huge debate. I feel that, somewhere along this debate, the true reason for marriage equality has become lost.

I feel that so much has been put in the word "marriage" and the rights of people has been moved out of the debate. I know that the majority of people feel that the word "marriage" means a religious ceremony. This one of the correct meanings of the word. But, the word marriage is also a legal term that affords people many rights. This is where the debate becomes a matter of religion and human rights. For those who are having a hard time with the struggle of what the Bible says and what seems fair to us, here is a link. Religious Tolerance It is a nice eye-opener for those who are researching.

Personally, I am fine with leaving the word marriage to mean a religious ceremony. I am perfectly happy to have civil unions that are performed either in a court house or in a church that is willing to perform them.

To me, the fight for marriage equality is not about the word at all. I do not think that the law should force churches that do not agree with same-sex couples to perform such ceremonies. But, I also do not believe that the church should infringe on my human rights.

I think the majority of people do not understand why the GLBT community is fighting for this right. I think people have been lead to believe it is for acceptance among the majority. Sure, in a perfect world, we would be accepted and this fight would not be going on. But, that is not the case.

Maybe if I explain what the lack of these rights mean for me, it will become clearer to those who do not know or maybe just do not understand.

To have my relationship recognized by law would change many things for me. For example, my partner and I would be allowed to visit one another in the hospital and make medical decisions for one another. Seems small, right? But at this point in time, we can not do that. This means that some family member that we have not had contact with in years could come in and tell them what our wishes are, even though we have spent everyday together and talked about those wishes. It means that if one of us were to die, the other would get the house and all of our combined property. As it is now, a family member can take everything and kick out the one that is not the actual homeowner. It would mean being able to carry one another on insurance. It would mean being able to purchase a house, car or any other large purchase together. It would mean making funeral arrangements for one another. It would mean both of us being able to be parents to our child. Small things that marriage gives heterosexual couples, but we do not have. The only way we can come close to getting these things is by having a large amount of legal paperwork written up to try to protect everything we have.

Actually, to take it further, in the state of Oklahoma, we can still get fired from our job, kicked out of an apartment, asked to leave a restaurant, denied a home loan, are unable to adopt together and refused a hotel room, just because we are a same-sex couple. Hardly seems fair, does it?

I could list for days the advantages that allowing same-sex couples some sort of union would have. But, then this thing would be so long, no one would read it.

I hope that reading this has opened a couple of minds and a few hearts. Maybe if you know where the GLBT community is coming from, it will help you understand why this fight is so important to us.

Something everyone should see

2006-06-04T06:04:00.000-07:00

I want to thank ocb for introducing me to this song on her blog! I saw this slide show on Rosie's site and found it on youtube.

Too good not to share...

2006-06-03T06:33:00.000-07:00

I think the videos speaks for themselves!

Too Cool!

2006-05-15T19:58:00.000-07:00

I stole this from The Panic Blog. It is really interesting. Go to Wikipedia and enter your birth date, not the year and see what it pulls up. I won't share the full list of mine...but here are a few things I found interesting!

Holidays and observances
Feast of St Cyril of Alexandria
National HIV Testing Day in United States
National Veterans' Day in the United Kingdom
Stonewall Day (date of many gay pride celebrations, including those in New York City, San Francisco, Toronto, and Madrid)

My birth date is Stonewall day!!!! I was quite impressed.

This is also proof that I am making up all the time I didn't get to spend on the internet last semester!

Tell me in your comments what interesting things you find!

I can die a happy woman

2006-05-01T06:51:00.000-07:00

I have said for a long time that if I found out Michelle Rodriquez was gay, I could die happy.

Well....here you go. Nice pictures also!

Michelle Rodriguez Outed? A Socialite's Life

Another reason why where I live sucks...

2006-04-30T22:05:00.000-07:00

Poison Ivy. I have had it for over a week and it is really starting to piss me off. It is totally ruining my leg shaving, which is another issue that will be brought up at some point, here or to my therapist.

See, I live in a place where the weather changes, constantly. Not just little changes, I mean HUGE changes. For example, in the early part of April, it warms up a bit. Nice enough to send the kids out in short sleeves with no jackets type warm. Then, it gets a little warmer and you have to start looking for the shorts. Then, one morning, you wake up, and there it is....SNOW! We are talking about two inches of snow. WTF? So, you have to go warm up the car and bundle up the kids and find your gloves.

What does this have to do with poison ivy? I am getting there...it all ties in.

So, after the snow, two days later, I look at the thermometer on the front door, and it shows a 100 degrees. TWO DAYS after the snow. Later that evening, as the wife and I are sitting outside, in our shorts, smoking, she asks "didn't it just snow" and I was like yeah, TWO DAYS AGO! No wonder every one stays sick around here. Now, we have kids walking into school with shorts on and a coat....just to be safe.

So...on to the poison ivy. In the 5 years I have lived here, I have not got poison ivy. Just assumed we didn't have it. I mean, the fact that we live in the middle of town but still have deer in the back of our house should have tipped me off. But it didn't. At this point, anything is possible. Seriously, like if you walk through the wooded area behind our house, you would reach McDonald's. The deer must like the burgers there or something.

Ok...going off topic...back on to the ivy.

In an attempt to get some color on my legs for the next time it is a 100 degrees before I get a chance to get in the tanning bed, I decide that I am going to mow the lawn. L. is none to happy about this because I do not go back and forth, I go in little block like things and it makes the grass uneven. I figure, hey, the grass is mowed, good enough for me. Plus, she is like way over protective of her lawn mower, which the mower has issues btw.

So, after a couple of hours of convincing her that I want to mow, so I can get some color on my legs, she agrees to hand over the lawn mower, that is almost out of gas. She says, if you hurry, you may get the front lawn done. So, off I go.

I am hurrying my ass off when the mower sputters a few times and dies. Out of gas. L. goes to get gas and I am chilling in the a.c. and hoping that I did get a little tan while I was out there. L. comes back, mower won't start, I get blamed...you get the picture.

So, this is the part where I give up and get in the shower. About 30 minutes later, I have this nice little rash in about 4 different places on one leg. I have no idea where in the yard it came from.

I have been in itching hell for the past week. And all I get from L. is that I should not have tried to mow the yard and still getting blamed for the mower not starting.

And I didn't get a tan either.

*off to put more aloe on ivy*

You know you take hot showers when.....

2006-04-30T22:01:00.000-07:00

your smoke alarm goes off every time you take a shower!

The damn thing is possessed. I take showers before I go to bed, which here lately has been late at night. Every time I am good and soaped up, the smoke alarm goes off. Apparently, it sees the steam from the shower as a threat to the house. It continues to go off for the rest of my shower, which I have to cut short because I do not want to wake up the rest of the family.

I hate that damn smoke alarm!

I am

2006-04-24T19:55:00.000-07:00

I am not sure where this came from, but I felt the need to share it.

"I AM..."

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a
fag everyday.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother
that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a
transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful,
tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not
let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken
away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever
had... I wish they could adopt me.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before
graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found
out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I
want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I
bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother
because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system
grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive
partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to
turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up
afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until
someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the woman who died when the EMT's stopped treating me as soon
as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much
better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating
me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't
believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most... LOVE!

I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends that I am a lesbian,
because they constantly make fun of them.

I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to
die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"

============================================

If you believe that Homophobia and discrimination are wrong - then
pass this on to someone you know

Spread the truth - Help stop the HATE

Help make American truly EQUAL for ALL PERSONS!

Lack of Blogging

2006-04-08T21:19:00.000-07:00

I know I have been really bad about not blogging lately. I have been really busy. I have this long list of stuff I have to do for the nursing program. One of which is getting shots..lots of them. Seems that my parents and I can not agree on who lost my shot records, but they are no where to be found. They did find the envelope that used to hold said shot records, but alas, no shot record. So, I have been spending my time going to class, enrolling for summer, working out a fall schedule, getting shots, buying uniforms and shoes. *sigh* I will have to post about my uniforms and shoes soon.

Anyway, on top of all of that, I had two papers due and one more to go. Also, I am taking college algebra. Online. Yes folks, someone that sucks at math as much as I do decided to try it online. Let's just say that I am passing the class and I can not wait till it is over.
Just to show how much time and effort this class is taking, here is a sample of the chapter I am working on now. This is just a sample of it. Wish me luck! Click for a larger picture of it.

Just too cute

2006-04-05T20:08:00.000-07:00

L. showed me this today, knowing how much I love animals. I thought that it was just too adorable not to share.

Enjoy!

As seen on Break.com

Good news!

2006-03-09T15:47:00.000-08:00

I got my acceptance letter into the nursing program today!!!

I will be starting the program in the fall!

YAY!

Sometimes I wish I was a drinker......

2006-03-06T10:43:00.000-08:00

I finally hit mid-term of this semester. If one of my classes continues on the path it is on, I may end up in AA before it is over.

This semester was supposed to be easy. I got to pick classes that I would find interesting while I waited to find out if I made it into the nursing program for next semester. So, I picked up my math class that I have been putting off and three sociology classes. I figured since I enjoyed psychology so much, that sociology would prove to be interesting as well.

One class has been interesting, but not in the way I expected. I figured that since the people that usually take sociology are people that plan to work in some sort of field dealing with all types of people, it would be an open-minded group. I was so wrong.

I should have known that this class was not going to go well when I made a girl so mad she almost started crying. We were separated into groups, but not just any type of group. It was women who have been married and those that have not, same with the men. We had to make a list of what we were looking for in the opposite sex and what we thought they were looking for. A nice little assumption that everyone is straight. Next topic, abortion. We were told to list three reasons for and three against. After we finished our list, the class started discussing the different reasons. This girl said that she does not think that a woman should ever get an abortion. So, I asked her about in a rape situation. She said she can give up the child for adoption. For the record, I am pro-choice. I think there should be a time limit, but I am still pro-choice. So, I said to her, you mean to tell me that if a woman is raped, you think she should be forced to have her rapist baby and also going through giving a child up. She proceeded with it is not the child's fault. I said no, it isn't. But, it isn't her fault either. So, she was victimized by the rapist, then she is expected to continue to be victimized for the next nine months, forced to carry a child, then give birth to this child and hope when she gives it up, the child will go to a good home? She said well, there is always adoption. (side note, I am adopted). So, I asked her if she has ever been through the adoption process to which she said yes, I have been adopted many times. (not going to try to figure out how someone is adopted many times) But, I told her that I was also adopted, and that although it sounds great in theory, not all kids get adopted. Ok..ending this particular conversation.

One of the things my instructor does every week is bring up Brokeback Mountain. I am not sure why this movie has so much to do with the class. But he finds a way to bring it up and every week, people in the class groan and bitch about how sick it is. Are you seeing a trend?

Well, last week, I about had all I could take. One, he was talking about how if a community shares similar values, they can change the outcome of trials and things of that nature. He brought up a kid that was killed by a popular kid in the town and that the murder got off with probation because the community saw him as a good kid and the kid he killed was part of a counter culture. During this, he brought up people who are Goth. He asked the class if they knew what he meant by that and one guy yelled out, "yeah the freaks". Most instructors would have put the guy in his place. Instead, he just acted like it was nothing and continued.

If that was not enough, before our break, we were covering the mass media and he was talking about how channels are geared toward a certain group of people. Of course, the people in this class could not let that go. One woman actually said, "well I do not think it is fair that they can have black entertainment channel and we can't have a white channel, and why do we have to have black history month, that is racist." So, I turned to her and said actually, it isn't racist. She just looked at me and said there isn't a white history month. To which I said, every month is white history month.

Of course, the instructor just released us for break and didn't say a word. The woman continued to talk to other people going on about how they should put a white woman in the all black pageants and that even the Hispanics do not have stuff all to themselves. I had to leave the room because I really had enough at that point.

Sad thing is, my instructor is high up in a state job and therefore is in charge of making many decisions that affect lots of people in this state. Scary, huh?

I would think that an instructor would see that the type of comments being said in this class perpetuate discrimination and would try to educate people.

But, I guess in this class, it is ok to attack gays, blacks, Hispanics or anyone else that is not exactly like the majority in the room.

*goes shopping for a boot flask*

Dinner time!

2006-01-05T20:38:00.000-08:00

It is no secret that I am not good at cooking. For example, L. asked me to start baked potatoes one day. She said to wrap them up and put them in the toaster oven and let them cook. So, I followed the instructions exactly like she had asked. About 5 hours later, we decided to eat something different, so we put them in the fridge, with plans to eat them the next day. L. put them in the toaster oven the next day to warm them up and about 2 hours later, she checked them. They were still raw in the middle. We still have not figured out how someone can cook a potato for 7 hours and it not be done.

This is not the only time. I was in charge of the Thankmas turkey. (You would think she would learn, right?) Anyway, I ask her the night before to please write down the directions for me, in detail. She says, it is easy. Wrap up the turkey in foil, put it in the oven and let it cook. So, I ask "wrap it up?" She says yes, wrap it up. I am thinking, I can do this, no problem. I get the turkey and read the directions on it and it does not say anything about wrapping it up. So...I was like well, L. said to. I take the foil, put the turkey in the middle and wrap it, much like a Christmas present. It looked nice. I stuck it in the oven. L. comes home early to find the turkey, wrapped nicely for Thankmas, in the oven and is shocked. She says how many turkeys have you seen wrapped like this????? I said well none, but I don't cook them. They could have been wrapped like that! I am thinking she saved the turkey just in time.

As you can see, it is safer for me to just buy food on the way home. She asks me what I did before we got together. I said I had fast food, vending machines and easy mac. I was set!

Anyway, I was really tempted tonight to stop at McDonald's on the way home. After all, the kid was begging me to. But, against my better judgment, I decided to cook for my little angels. (Feeling sorry for them yet?) I went with something that I at least know how to cook. Chicken strips.

We get home and I get everyone set up to chill out while I cook. Cooking for me takes total concentration. One time, I was cooking frozen burritos and burned them. Not to mention countless things, including my p.js that have been burnt. Anyway, the baby and the older one are supposed to be hanging out in the den. On the way to the den, the older one falls, in the kitchen floor. Odd thing is, there was nothing in the floor to trip over. So, now she is crying. So kisses, hugs, all that and send her on her way. Now, back to the task at hand. I put the chicken in the microwave to thaw, have the oil getting hot and decide this is a good time to step outside for a cig. I get outside and get one lit when the smoke alarm goes off and the older one is at the backdoor, holding the little one, yelling fire drill!!

This would be the point I banged my head against the door.

So, I come in, no fire, no damn smoke, nothing. But, the super sensitive smoke alarm detected something. Since I am so short, I have to get something to get it to stop. The older one finds this very entertaining and proceeds to laugh at me. After I am done, I give the kiddos something to snack on and get my chicken ready. Then the baby starts screaming.

I decided that in the den was not a good place for the kids. So I move them up to the dining area so I can keep an eye on them. There is the baby, with a cookie in each hand, and food all over her. The older one is dancing circles around her. As I start to flour the chicken, I get bumped by the dog running over my feet and end up with flour all over me.

After much cussing under my breath, and many stops to get more cookies and to kick the dogs out, the food is ready. So, I set up the baby's chair, so she can eat and getting plates ready. Here is the one for the big kid, baby's is cooling, one for the wife, since she is at work and mine. I go to put the baby in her seat and find that, even though she can not crawl, she has made her way to the dog dish and is reaching for dog food.

I run to her while saying nooo nooo and hearing the big one laugh at me. Finally, we sit down for dinner.

Next time, I am buying McDonalds.

A special post

2006-01-04T21:52:00.000-08:00

I have to give a special thank you to ocB for sharing her addiction of Pogo with me and the wife.

Now, we have no clean clothes, the kids are lost, we have forgotten how to cook, I live on coffee and all we can do is work towards badges.

Uh, thanks.