My opinion on same-sex marriage

First of all, I must say that I am glad that the amendment did not pass. No matter what side of the issue you are on, writing discrimination into our constitution is wrong.

With that being said, I feel the need to say my side of this huge debate. I feel that, somewhere along this debate, the true reason for marriage equality has become lost.

I feel that so much has been put in the word "marriage" and the rights of people has been moved out of the debate. I know that the majority of people feel that the word "marriage" means a religious ceremony. This one of the correct meanings of the word. But, the word marriage is also a legal term that affords people many rights. This is where the debate becomes a matter of religion and human rights. For those who are having a hard time with the struggle of what the Bible says and what seems fair to us, here is a link. Religious Tolerance It is a nice eye-opener for those who are researching.

Personally, I am fine with leaving the word marriage to mean a religious ceremony. I am perfectly happy to have civil unions that are performed either in a court house or in a church that is willing to perform them.

To me, the fight for marriage equality is not about the word at all. I do not think that the law should force churches that do not agree with same-sex couples to perform such ceremonies. But, I also do not believe that the church should infringe on my human rights.

I think the majority of people do not understand why the GLBT community is fighting for this right. I think people have been lead to believe it is for acceptance among the majority. Sure, in a perfect world, we would be accepted and this fight would not be going on. But, that is not the case.

Maybe if I explain what the lack of these rights mean for me, it will become clearer to those who do not know or maybe just do not understand.

To have my relationship recognized by law would change many things for me. For example, my partner and I would be allowed to visit one another in the hospital and make medical decisions for one another. Seems small, right? But at this point in time, we can not do that. This means that some family member that we have not had contact with in years could come in and tell them what our wishes are, even though we have spent everyday together and talked about those wishes. It means that if one of us were to die, the other would get the house and all of our combined property. As it is now, a family member can take everything and kick out the one that is not the actual homeowner. It would mean being able to carry one another on insurance. It would mean being able to purchase a house, car or any other large purchase together. It would mean making funeral arrangements for one another. It would mean both of us being able to be parents to our child. Small things that marriage gives heterosexual couples, but we do not have. The only way we can come close to getting these things is by having a large amount of legal paperwork written up to try to protect everything we have.

Actually, to take it further, in the state of Oklahoma, we can still get fired from our job, kicked out of an apartment, asked to leave a restaurant, denied a home loan, are unable to adopt together and refused a hotel room, just because we are a same-sex couple. Hardly seems fair, does it?

I could list for days the advantages that allowing same-sex couples some sort of union would have. But, then this thing would be so long, no one would read it.

I hope that reading this has opened a couple of minds and a few hearts. Maybe if you know where the GLBT community is coming from, it will help you understand why this fight is so important to us.