Another reason why where I live sucks...

Poison Ivy. I have had it for over a week and it is really starting to piss me off. It is totally ruining my leg shaving, which is another issue that will be brought up at some point, here or to my therapist.

See, I live in a place where the weather changes, constantly. Not just little changes, I mean HUGE changes. For example, in the early part of April, it warms up a bit. Nice enough to send the kids out in short sleeves with no jackets type warm. Then, it gets a little warmer and you have to start looking for the shorts. Then, one morning, you wake up, and there it is....SNOW! We are talking about two inches of snow. WTF? So, you have to go warm up the car and bundle up the kids and find your gloves.

What does this have to do with poison ivy? I am getting there...it all ties in.

So, after the snow, two days later, I look at the thermometer on the front door, and it shows a 100 degrees. TWO DAYS after the snow. Later that evening, as the wife and I are sitting outside, in our shorts, smoking, she asks "didn't it just snow" and I was like yeah, TWO DAYS AGO! No wonder every one stays sick around here. Now, we have kids walking into school with shorts on and a coat....just to be safe.

So...on to the poison ivy. In the 5 years I have lived here, I have not got poison ivy. Just assumed we didn't have it. I mean, the fact that we live in the middle of town but still have deer in the back of our house should have tipped me off. But it didn't. At this point, anything is possible. Seriously, like if you walk through the wooded area behind our house, you would reach McDonald's. The deer must like the burgers there or something.

Ok...going off topic...back on to the ivy.

In an attempt to get some color on my legs for the next time it is a 100 degrees before I get a chance to get in the tanning bed, I decide that I am going to mow the lawn. L. is none to happy about this because I do not go back and forth, I go in little block like things and it makes the grass uneven. I figure, hey, the grass is mowed, good enough for me. Plus, she is like way over protective of her lawn mower, which the mower has issues btw.

So, after a couple of hours of convincing her that I want to mow, so I can get some color on my legs, she agrees to hand over the lawn mower, that is almost out of gas. She says, if you hurry, you may get the front lawn done. So, off I go.

I am hurrying my ass off when the mower sputters a few times and dies. Out of gas. L. goes to get gas and I am chilling in the a.c. and hoping that I did get a little tan while I was out there. L. comes back, mower won't start, I get blamed...you get the picture.

So, this is the part where I give up and get in the shower. About 30 minutes later, I have this nice little rash in about 4 different places on one leg. I have no idea where in the yard it came from.

I have been in itching hell for the past week. And all I get from L. is that I should not have tried to mow the yard and still getting blamed for the mower not starting.

And I didn't get a tan either.

*off to put more aloe on ivy*