How to train a male cashier

Ok, so as we all know, there are certain unspoken rules when it comes to shopping. These rules have never been written or spoken of..they.just.are. When you pass a lady in the feminine hygiene isle, you do not speak of what you buy..they are the things we must not speak of. (ok ok, so I watched The Village..shoot me) Anywho, you do not strike up a conversation with the lady beside you about which tampon is the best, you do not ask her how her day is if she is buying itch cream...ya just don't.

With that being said, when the time comes to buy said objects and panties..because, well because...you always look for a female checker. Now...it is time to set the scene...

Our dog Scruffy was in "season", which is a polite way of saying she is having "that time of the month" or in her case "that time of the year". Anyway, we had bought her some dog panties. Now, our little angel had figured out how to remove said panties, so we had to get creative. So, my loving wife suggests that we buy her a onesie to put over the panties..that way they will stay on. So, I am all for any way to make this process easier and decide to go to the store. Also, apparently we have misplaced the pads that go in the panties and have resorted to using panty liners (sorry, not posting a link for those) and now we are out of them also.

So, off to the store I go. While I am there, I am picking up stuff along the way. So, it is time to check out and I have a onesie, panty liners, tea, a can opener, kid socks and I think sugar. There is only 2 isles, a younger guy and an older woman...Whose line do you think I am going towards? Yep, the woman..when the guy says; "hey, I can get you over here". Now, this guy couldn't have been a day over 18, but he was smart enough to read my expression of not wanting him to check me out. You would think that would be enough for him to keep his mouth shut and just ring me up and let me leave in peace. Sadly, it does not go that easy.

Him: You didn't want to come over here, huh?

Me: Ah, its ok.

Him: *running the panty liners (which btw where the $1.00 special) across scanner* Hey, did you see the other ones over there? There is like 40 of em in a little package only about an inch thick!! That's like crazy"

Let me interject that he has broken a major rule here..the do not talk about female hygiene products rule.

Me: *raising eyebrow" Yeah, I saw them.

Him: Like, I don't know why they are that small, but you like get so many more in another package. Not sure if they are any good though. But they are supposed to be better.

Now, at this point, I realize I need to teach him a lesson.

Me: Yeah, I see your point. Actually, these are for my dog. You see, she is in heat and like bleeding everywhere. And, I ran out of the pads that go with the panty things that came with them. And she keeps getting out of the panties, so I had to buy the baby outfit so the panties will stay on. So, I figure since she didn't complain about these not working for her, they will be just fine. *smiles sweetly*

Him: *look of horror on his face* Yeah, um, I didn't need to know all that, but sure. *bags up stuff* Thank you, have a nice day and hope ya dog doesn't like bleed on the couch and stuff

Me: Well, that is what this stuff is for! See ya!

Too much info for him? Maybe. But, I bet he doesn't talk to another woman about panty liners again!