The last week of class before finals...

And it does suck!!!!

I am supposed to be writing my last psychology essay and I just can't. As you can see, I am not. I am blogging instead. *sigh*

See, I am supposed to be writing about how positive thinking helps a person cope with stress. And all I can think about is how I am missing Trauma, Life in the ER on the discovery health channel. *a slight addiction to that channel. you should really watch it sometime*

So, I am trying to be insightful about how positive thinking is a good way to cope with stress. But, I am positive that this essay is stressing me out. I think it is totally defeating the purpose. A positive thing to do to deal with stress is not to give us this essay the last freaking week!!!

Of course, I find it hard to enjoy this class after the whole "Christian therapist" comment. I posted it on my blog, too lazy to link and will give ya a good reason to read other parts of my blog.

So, I have launchcast blaring in hopes of some sort of inspiration.

I sat down and made out a schedule for next semester. Although, I can not enroll until I know some other things. For example, if I have brought up my GPA in another class, or do I have to retake it? If I don't, did I get the student loan for the summer class? *sigh* Stress that is out of my hands.

So, I sit and wait for a letter to come in the mail, my average in class and the moon to align just right while I am dancing naked...*looks around* You know you do it too. Anyway, I can't enroll for next semester until I find out some other stuff. My luck, all the classes I need will be full.

*looks at essay outline* Maybe I can learn how to deal with stress.

*shrug* Back to dancing to music, pouting because I want to watch Discovery health and try to write a decent essay.

Hugs everyone!

Lookie at all the posts!

Well, I feel so much better now. Even though my bestest online buddy, OB, thinks she is the world's worst blogger, I want her to know I had that title already. And see Bent, I can blog when the moment hits! :-) Now, my loyal fans, you will have something to read while I study my ass off for my big test next week.

I am sure I will have some more things to write about very soon! Forgive me finals week, I will be nuts during that time!!!!

Take care everyone and thanks for reading!

Hugs all around!

YAY

If you read my wife's blog, you already know that I am getting an award from my favorite instructor in the world and friend, Mrs. N.

I am not the type to show much emotion or anything, but I am very flattered and proud. I really don't know how to react. I mean, this is a big deal. It says so much about the work I have put into school and also, Mrs. N. opinion of that work. I am excited!!

The award is one of only 3 awards for American Scholar of Excellence for my work in American Literature.

When I read the letter after class, in front of her and the others getting the award, I really didn't know how to act. I mean, it is a big enough shock to myself that I am even IN college, more or less getting an award for my work while I am there.

Mrs. N, if you are reading this...THANK YOU SO MUCH! It means more than you will ever know!!!

Ok.../end bragging.

A somewhat public outing...

If you refer to the previous post....clicky, you will know about my recent offer at my car.

Of course, I could not keep this type of information to myself and had to talk to Mrs. N. about it, because she is so cool. Anyway, I get a chance to talk to her today and explain what has happened.

While doing so, a guy from class hears part of the conversation. So, he asks if I have a stalker, and I say no and give him the short version of what happened. His eyes get a little big, then he asks the question that us lesbians could get rich over if we got money every time we have heard it, the "can I watch" question. Now, at one point that would have made me a little upset, but now I just laugh. So, I tell him I wished I had a dollar for each time I have heard that. I continue to tell them about it and he says " since you brought it up, which way do you swing?" The smart ass in me wants to say..umm up and down? But, instead I answer with completely lesbian.

Mrs. N informs him of my blog, and says that he is in it. So, he asks her if I was who she was talking about when she told him after class he needs to watch his comments because there are gay people in the class. She says yes and I wave at him and he says wow, I would have never known. Those of you that have seen me know that I more than pass for straight. But, the upside to that is when you do come out, you make people think. You make them wonder what other girls or guys they know, and assume are straight, are actually gay.

To which I reply that I fly stealth under the gaydar and that most lesbians don't know I am unless I tell them.

And so is the curse of being a lipstick lesbian.

Mrs. N is quick to let him know that a big group of us going to pride this year and how she is looking forward to it because she supports gay rights. And to my surprise this guy says how he is for gay rights. He says that it doesn't matter who you love as long as you are happy. :-O

While I am talking to him, another guy walks up and now he knows I am a lesbian too.

And I wonder why my wife thinks I am a big ol flag waver! Ok, ok, I admit I have no problem telling people that I am gay. I believe that people need to be aware that we are around them and that we are not that different from them.

Although, Mrs. N. said she was glad that I enlightened him, because he needed it and she liked the way I did it.

Now, all I need to do is lead a pride parade!!! :-)

ATTENTION: IT IS LESBIAN HUNTING SEASON!

So all the hetros, make sure you wear your orange vests so you will not be mistaken for a lesbian! (side note, orange vest are worn when you live in an area that hunters frequent to keep from being mistaken for what they are hunting for and getting shot at)

Now, you may be asking what does this all mean? Well, it is the only explanation I have for what happened to me earlier this week.

After a long day of classes, I go to my car that is parked in the college parking lot. As I sit, I notice a note card under my wiper blades. So, I retrieve the card and this is what it says:

My girlfriend is interested in girl/girl
she is very open and curious.
would be her first time.
name removed to protect someone@ yahoo
if interested. No strings
No pressure!
will send pics.

Now, there are many things going through my mind. First of all, what happened to the good old days of trying to pick up someone at the local gay bar? or even the internet through personal ads? I mean, a note card on your car??? WTH?

Then, I wonder if I should be flattered. I mean, after all, they are wanting some girl and they have chosen me...and when I think of it that way...it is like they are lesbian shopping. Well, what about this one, honey? She looks nice and friendly.

But this also means that one of the two knows my schedule..and knows it well. They also know who I am and what car I drive. Which gives me the creeps because that means they have been watching me! *ack*

And also, what do I do? Do, I email and say thanks but no thanks? Do I mess with them and give a long list of fetishes that I would like her to be open to do, because of course I look for that with all the women I am showing the ways of lesbianism? Do I ask for a pic just for the hell of it? Do I really want to mess with the people that are watching me to know when to approach my car??

What do you do? I honestly think this has to be the strangest way to try to find someone to fulfill your curiosity. If you have a better story, please let me know!!

So, everyday that I am at that campus, I am looking at everyone, wondering if that is the person that left the note. I wonder which one figured I was the pick of the lesbians? Was it him or her? And how did this conversation take place to decide to leave a note for me?

So, of course I bring it home and show my loving wife and I also tell Mrs. N. about it. Both of them are shocked and find it funny, but a little creepy.

I just now found the profile and I DON'T KNOW THE PERSON IN THE PIC!!!! I don't think he is in any of my classes that I can recall. Ok, this is getting creepier by the minute!!!

Any advice will be appreciated!

Christian Therapy?

To continue my stories of woe with this semester, I bring you, my psych instructor. Now, as some people may know, psychology is one of my favorite things and I had been looking forward to this class for awhile. I would love to do psych nursing someday. Anyway..back to the story....

So, my psych instructor has been somewhat cool this semester. I do not agree with his rule of "if you miss more than 3 days in a semester, you get 10 points taken off for every day", but all in all, he has been ok...

Till we got to couples counseling.

He is talking about how couples counseling focuses on the problem is the responsibility of the couple and the problem lies between the man and woman. For the record, had he stopped there, it would not have bothered me. It is assumed that all people are straight until proven otherwise, so I was ok with that. Then he says, or the man and the man, but we won't go there. Now, I raise my eyebrow and the rest of the class just overlooks the remark or giggles at him saying that. He says well, in my work, I would not be dealing with that.

Forever the curious type, I approach after class and ask him if he still does counseling.

He tells me he does. So, I say but you do not do same sex couples counseling? And he is quick to reply; "NO, I don't believe in it. I do CHRISTIAN counseling", as I stand there with my pride necklace on. I reply ohhh, I seeeee. He informs me that he provides it for the church he is a pastor at. :-O

I would love to say that I respect his opinion, but I can't. This had ruined this class for me!! Granted, I don't think he has a clue that I am gay or anything...but still, I find it hard to go in there 3 days a week and listen to him..because in my mind, I have lost respect.

*sigh*

Why this semester is killing me...

I know that every gay person has at least one story about some stupid person that thinks they are the expert in what "those gays" think and how you sit in horror wondering how they can come up with such things. Here is mine....

The other day in Computer class, some smart guy decides to talk about Humanities class. Granted, most of the time there are no conversations going on in this class. We all sit, nice and quiet, at our computers and try our very best to get all of our assignments in and get the hell out of there. But today, this guy decides to get a conversation started.

And it had to be about gay people.

Not just any gay person though..the Greek gay people. So, out of nowhere he informs the class that " All the people in Greece were gay" (um..hey genius, how did they have Greek people if they were all gay? There would be no reproduction and therefore no Greek people). So, this other guy pipes up and says "that's true! they all were." (wow, we have two smart ones here) Now, the instructor is not saying anything. So, this lady, and I use the word loosely here, says "well they believed it was ok to love everyone" (is that a bad thing?) "you know that is what those gays believe, they believe that loving everyone is ok, they think everything is ok" (um love is not bad, but I think lots of things are not ok...like killing people and stealing and..well you know where I am going with this). Then she proceeds to inform the class that "there are no virgins in the gays either".

So, now I am pissed. Not only are these people openly gay bashing, but the instructor is allowing it!!! All she said was is how she could not teach Humanities because she can not remember all that stuff. No, hey guys, this is computer class, get to work..nothing.

Now, I have a few options at this point. I can stand up with my fist in the air and go on and on about how stupid they are and liberate myself and my fellow "gays".

I can keep quiet and just do my work.

So, since I was so upset, I sat there for a few minutes. The more I thought about it, the madder I got. To the point, I was shaking.

I decided to take my own approach. I raised my hand and called my instructor over. I looked at her and asked to leave. She looks, with a little concern, and asks if the conversation upset me. To which I replied, in an appearance of a hushed voice, but loud enough to be heard that "As a lesbian, I am offended. What right does any one have to judge me and that is what they were doing. And even though I am offended, I choose to keep my opinion to myself because I refuse to turn her classroom into my soap box. And how bold of people to assume that everyone in the room is straight. That no one knows what I think or feel. And even after over 4 years of being out, it still shocks me the stupidity of other people when it comes to something they know nothing about". At this point, the instructor begins to apologize and say how she has gay friends and she wasn't sure what to say. Should she let the conversation die down or should she tell them to get to work. She said she wasn't sure what to do. So, I point out to her that I have instructors that would stop the conversation and do not allowing bashing in her class. While we were talking, the lady that was being a big mouth leaves the classroom.

Now, I just want to say..what is with people and the "I have gay friends"? I don't give a shit what friends you have!! What good are you doing those friends and the gay people in your class when you openly allowing bashing?? Do you honestly think it makes things all better to tell me you are friends with gay people? I am not looking for approval, I am looking for someone to take control of a class room that is allowed to bash people and get away with it!

/end rant for now

Today's episode of Dumbass..we welcome Lesbianca

*applause from crowd*

Today, we welcome Lesbianca! *crowd goes wild*

Announcer (which is also me, haven't taken my pills today): Welcome Lesbianca!

*Lesbianca bows*

Announcer: You say here that you are a good person to have on Dumbass because you are the female version of Tim the Toolman Taylor (sorry if that show is before your time..watch the reruns). So, Lesbianca, what makes you think that?

Me: Um..because my wife said I am.

Announcer: Ok...and she says that why?

Me: Because, everytime I do home repair, I injure myself.

Announcer: Ok..tell us about your latest home repair injury.

Me: Ok..it went like this......We had one of those shelves that sit on top of the toilet. It was not working so well, because every time we had to work on the toilet, we had to move it. It was getting to be a pain in the ass. So, I thought it would be better if we had one that attached to the wall. That way, we would not be stuck moving it or taking it apart to fix the toilet. Well, while shopping, I also found a toilet paper roll holder that matched, and since our other one was broke...it made sense to get a new one. So, I buy the stuff and take it home. Putting together the new shelf was easy and taking down the old one wasn't that bad. So, all in all, it was going well.

Then, it was time to replace the toilet paper roll holder. Now, you would think it would be easy, since one side already fell off on its own. The old one was metal and really really old. So, I just had to remove one side. After 30 minutes of turning and twisting and pulling, the thing would not budge at all. So, what option is left? Force of course! So..*rubbing hands together*, I get myself planted well, grab with both hands, and pull with every bit of body weight I have. And, guess what?! Force did work! And with that full force, I came up and hit myself squarely in the nose.

As we all know, it take a couple of mins for pain to truly register when you hurt yourself in certain places. I now know that the nose is one of those places. I had enough time to think, before the pain set in, that if my nose is broken, I am really going to be pissed.

Now, the pain has registered...and the tears are flowing and I am bleeding. I am more mad that I am a dumbass than the fact that I hurt my nose.

Good thing for me is that I hit the squishy part (yes, that is the medical term for it) and did not break anything. Although, I have a nice little cut on my nose for my efforts. Oh yeah, blowing my nose isn't so great either. But that new toilet paper roll holder is firmly in place!

Announcer: Well, we all know now why you were featured on Dumbass...contact us again with your next stupid move! Thank you for coming.

Me: Thanks for having me! *waves to crowd and runs into Camera 1*

How to train a male cashier

Ok, so as we all know, there are certain unspoken rules when it comes to shopping. These rules have never been written or spoken of..they.just.are. When you pass a lady in the feminine hygiene isle, you do not speak of what you buy..they are the things we must not speak of. (ok ok, so I watched The Village..shoot me) Anywho, you do not strike up a conversation with the lady beside you about which tampon is the best, you do not ask her how her day is if she is buying itch cream...ya just don't.

With that being said, when the time comes to buy said objects and panties..because, well because...you always look for a female checker. Now...it is time to set the scene...

Our dog Scruffy was in "season", which is a polite way of saying she is having "that time of the month" or in her case "that time of the year". Anyway, we had bought her some dog panties. Now, our little angel had figured out how to remove said panties, so we had to get creative. So, my loving wife suggests that we buy her a onesie to put over the panties..that way they will stay on. So, I am all for any way to make this process easier and decide to go to the store. Also, apparently we have misplaced the pads that go in the panties and have resorted to using panty liners (sorry, not posting a link for those) and now we are out of them also.

So, off to the store I go. While I am there, I am picking up stuff along the way. So, it is time to check out and I have a onesie, panty liners, tea, a can opener, kid socks and I think sugar. There is only 2 isles, a younger guy and an older woman...Whose line do you think I am going towards? Yep, the woman..when the guy says; "hey, I can get you over here". Now, this guy couldn't have been a day over 18, but he was smart enough to read my expression of not wanting him to check me out. You would think that would be enough for him to keep his mouth shut and just ring me up and let me leave in peace. Sadly, it does not go that easy.

Him: You didn't want to come over here, huh?

Me: Ah, its ok.

Him: *running the panty liners (which btw where the $1.00 special) across scanner* Hey, did you see the other ones over there? There is like 40 of em in a little package only about an inch thick!! That's like crazy"

Let me interject that he has broken a major rule here..the do not talk about female hygiene products rule.

Me: *raising eyebrow" Yeah, I saw them.

Him: Like, I don't know why they are that small, but you like get so many more in another package. Not sure if they are any good though. But they are supposed to be better.

Now, at this point, I realize I need to teach him a lesson.

Me: Yeah, I see your point. Actually, these are for my dog. You see, she is in heat and like bleeding everywhere. And, I ran out of the pads that go with the panty things that came with them. And she keeps getting out of the panties, so I had to buy the baby outfit so the panties will stay on. So, I figure since she didn't complain about these not working for her, they will be just fine. *smiles sweetly*

Him: *look of horror on his face* Yeah, um, I didn't need to know all that, but sure. *bags up stuff* Thank you, have a nice day and hope ya dog doesn't like bleed on the couch and stuff

Me: Well, that is what this stuff is for! See ya!

Too much info for him? Maybe. But, I bet he doesn't talk to another woman about panty liners again!

Warning....

This is the first of many catch up posts. I know it has been forever since I have actually wrote something worth reading...aka. not a quiz or a promise to blog, but actual posts. I have lots to write about, so be prepared to read a lot.

Oh..well since this is after you have read everything else..um..thanks for reading. Of course, if you are the type that scrolls to the last post you read...and came across this one first..then the warning is for you.

Oh hell, I am just going to blog already! :D

Busy Busy

Ok...so school is royally kicking my ass. I have some stuff to blog as soon as I can see over my hill of books and spend some time doing fun things.

Don't give up on me! I will have some new posts soon!!!

*hugs people*